By Hariza Zahir
In today’s blog, I’m going to write about Self-love. Self-love was something that I was very unaware of and coming from an Asian family, self-love was something that we were never encouraged to practice.
What others would say, how others would feel, what others would want, etc, has always been the main priority of concern. Okay, I understand if this was a concern in a general family matter but when it’s our very own personal matter, why would these questions be given high priority?
Since my parents were brought up that way and they’ve also brought us up the same way, it was very difficult for me to understand the importance of self-love, Certain aspect of self-love is still very hard for me to start practicing as it makes me feel as if I’m being selfish.
There were so many instances where I was not okay with something I was forced to do but I never had a say because we shouldn’t refuse what our elders asked us to do. I’ve unknowingly allowed people to misuse the work I do because it’s rude to charge a fee from friends or family. I’ve allowed my parents to make very big decisions in my life because we should never turn down what they want us to do. And many more situations ….
After so many incidents that occurred over the years, I learned my hard lessons. I no longer allow anyone to push me around. I make my decision and I stay responsible for it. Now, If I’m doing something, I do it only if I really want to do it. Be it, my family or friends, if you need my services, you must be ready to pay for it and I will decide if I want to give anyone a discount or a specific service as a gift from my end or entirely free. I respect all my parent’s advice, opinions, and suggestions but if I have a different plan or a need, I politely refuse them and try my best to make them proud of my decision. It was not something that I could attain just overnight but it’s the little baby steps of so many days, months, and years.
Firstly, start with loving yourself, that’s what the word “self-love” actually means. Once you start loving yourself, working on your insecurities, improving your lifestyle, etc. you will start understanding the significance of self-love. Self-love does not imply that you believe you are the smartest, most brilliant, or most beautiful person on the planet. Instead, when you love yourself, you accept your flaws and see them as characteristics that define who you are. You have compassion for yourself because of this.
You should also be very mindful of the thin line that separates self-love and selfishness.
Selfishness is defined as performing all of the above without consideration for others. Even if your activities injure others, a selfish person will continue to behave in order to meet their own desires.
Self-love that isn’t selfish is good for you and good for society.
Love Yourself & Spread Love.